The Other O Show » 2005

This day is a yet another reminder that yet another year has passed without a significant romantic relationship in my life. A friend recently read my website and remarked, “I am astounded by your availability” - well you know what, so am I. Every year about this time, I contemplate past relationships, why they didn’t work out, what I could have done
differently but I always end with the same conclusion: I’m glad I’m still NOT in those relationships and I’m glad I learned the lessons I did. Every time someone in a relationship asks me, ”Are you seeing anyone?” I feel surge of disappointment, regret and sadness. And then when the inevitable answer, “No, no one special” is given, it’s always, “Well, you’ll meet someone soon” or something to that effect. What it sounds like is, “Cheer up Jan, you’ll make the team next year.” Why is that people both hetero and homo always feel the need to ask if you’re in a relationship when they are? I’ve been single for a grand majority of my life so if I’ve actually made it to the 2nd date - TRUST ME, everyone would know.

One part of me feels like I’ve got so much to offer a partner in a relationship. I feel like some really great years of my life are passing me by without having anyone to share my experiences within a romantic rather than platonic setting. And I certainly don’t need a
national holiday to remind me that I don’t have someone and yet for some reason
millions of other people do. However, another part of me is grateful I am
capable of surviving on my own and forging my path through life almost
single-handedly despite the many obstacles I’ve faced.

When one thinks about Valentine’s
Day, no one really thinks about a priest performing marriages against the order
of Claudius II in 270 BCE when sending their little cards, flowers or
chocolates these days. Claudius II thought bachelors made better soldiers - no
one to pine for while fighting, but Valentine continued to perform secret
marriage ceremonies until he was apprehended by the Romans and put to death.
Another legend has it that Valentine, imprisoned by Claudius, fell in love with
the daughter of his jailer. But before he was executed, he allegedly sent her a
letter signed “from your Valentine.” [Taken from InfoPlease.com]

My friend Lisa used to feel the
same way I do but she had a change of heart when a friend told her that
ridiculous as Valentine’s Day gets, it is a way to tell people in your life that
you love them. So every Valentine’s Day she sends cards to all the people that
she loves stating to them how much she cares about them and why. It’s actually
the best way to deal with this 2nd most commercial
holiday.

The older I get, and let’s
face it one only starts talking like that, the older we get, I feel more and
more comfortable with myself, in my own skin and with the person I’ve become. I
would never want someone to “complete me” as I am a whole and complete person as
I stand today. However, do I wish to be in a relationship with a great guy? -
you bet! And am I bitter about not having a Valentine again this year?

absolutely!

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